How do you deal with the lost of a love one?

I have no idea nor have heard about people around me talk about it.  

I don't know how to deal with it "correctly" and it makes me feel funny but not in a good way.   

I carry on as usual or so I tried but it seems like something inside died indefinitely.  Don't know exactly how to describe it.  Don't know how to ask for help sort it out.  Don't know if I should even ask about it.  I just feel lost... unreal.  Don't know how it got to this extend.  

In the past few weeks my life has been filled with heartaches and joy.  

Heartaches because we lost someone and disastrous news regards another that we hold so close to our heart. 

But joy for new life, our cousin just welcomed a baby boy to the family.  

But somehow grief just seems so much more evident and is taking the center stage.

I have a lot of great friends and loving family members right next to me.  Somehow, none of them is able to comfort me in this time of grievance.  Perhaps they too are suffering just like I am but chose to brave the poker face.  I wish I could sooth their pain as I wish someone would mine. 

I feel lost.  I feel lonely.  

I pray for the one that passed. May he rest in peace.

I pray for the one that's fighting the battle of life and death.  May you hear our hearts calling and not give up because we are not giving up on you.  

I pray for the ones that's grieving.  May you too find peace and have the courage to carry on no matter  what happens, and that I DO believe in miracles so don't give up.

I pray for me.  May I have guidance in this time of need and for this life I lead.  So I can have the courage to carry on live a life worth living.